Such Horrible Things with Beyond Birthday
by Exploading albino potato
Summary: L and Light Go to visit BB at his mental instituition and apparently the ex murderer has taken a fancy to..singing? Parody of "Such Horrible Things" By Creature Feature. LxLight One sided BxL and L and B are brothers.


EAP: Ok so…BB! L! Light!

L B and Light: *groan*

Light: Exploading albino potato does not own Death note or any of it's charecters

L: Creature feature, or any of its music

BB: Or Akazukin Chacha

EAP: It's recommended that you listen to the song. Look it up on you tube! NOW!

L had received a phone call from the mental institution from which his brother/friend/enemy/successor/former (well "current" in BB's mind)...lover was currently residing.

BB: Hi Laaawwwwlipop

L: *exasperated sigh* what is it?

BB: Beyond is lonely and wants his Lawli to visit!

L: I'm working on a case and I don't have time

BB: But I miss you!

L: No. It was your fault you got shut up there

BB: Pleeezzeee! Everybody here is so boring and wares white. And tries to feed me peaches. And they don't let the psychos talk with each other very much.

L: fine but not for long.

BB: Yay! *Thinks* Damn...happy dancing in a straitjacket is hard to do...:-P

Da next day:

"What?" asked the brunette that was L's boyfriend and suspect.

"Yes we have to visit my insane brother. Now let's get going." Replies L dully, grabbing a bag of jam jars for B.

The two were handcuffed, and sitting in the back of a black limo as the drove to the insane asylum.

After making sure they weren't bringing weapons or anything they were showed to BB's room, where the L look alike sat tied up in a chair with his ankles handcuffed, arms tied behind his back, wearing white clothing. He was grinning like a...well like a psycho.

"Hi Lawli!"

"Hello Beyond...I brought you jam." L set the bag down on the floor and sat down on the bench.

"I LOVE U! The jam packets here are so tiny and I DO NOT get a healthy serving of sugar everyday. And why are you handcuffed to that guy?"

"Light is my suspect and boyfriend." L smirked.

Beyond looked sad, but then used this to his advantage

"Ah so THATS why your handcuffed! Must be doing some pretty kinky stuff, eh? *wink wink*

"No!" L face-palmed. "Were handcuffed, 'cause he's Kira!" Maybe telling him they were together was a bad idea...he was really trying to tease Beyond Birthday, who was madly in love with him.

"He's Kira? Right you're TOTALLY handcuffed to him because of that. Wait...ARE they handcuffing criminals to hot detectives now? I'm gonna ask the nurse about that!

Light looks weirded out.

"I'm sorry you had to come Light."

"It's ok..." O.O he twisted his tie nervously.

"Oh yes! I've got a song to sing!" said BB gleefully.

"Uhh yeah...Lets here it then." L nervously chuckled.

And so Beyond Began

"Sit Back Now

Let Me Tell You A Tale

Where Justice Does Not Prevail (wink at L, 'cause "justice will prevail" is L's quote!"

About An Ill-Fated Life

So Very Full Of Strife

Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right

So

When I Was Born

I Did Surely Scorn

My Proud Parent's Name

Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain

Drove Them Insane

My Birth Was A Curse

I Bit The Nurse

Oh, But I Love The Worst

I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed

Dried Out Then Laid In A Hearse

When I Was Two

I Poured Super Glue

Into My Father's Hair

As He Sat Unaware

In His Arm Chair

Much To His Dismay

Had To Cut It All Away

Oh, But It Felt Great! And then to Whammy's I was shipped away! Where I met my best friend A!

I Am Not a Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

Not Quite What He Seems

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

It's Exactly What It Seems

When I Was Four

I'd wait by the Door

With A Knife in My Hand

And A Most Devious Plan

It Would Be Quite Grand

As The Mail Fell Through the Slot

The Sharp Edge He Got

Oh, But I Love the Thought

I Deserve To Be Tied In a Knot

Broken Bones and Blood Clots

When I Was Six

I used to trick the other students

In The Woods We Would Run

Time for Fun

Hide N Seek Has a Cost

They Would Be Forever Lost

Oh, But I Love To Scoff

I Deserve To Have My Head Lopped Off

Hidden and Covered In Moss

Until This Memory's Forgot

I Am Not A Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

Not Quite What He Seems

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

It's Exactly What It Seems

When I Was Eight

My poor roommate

Hated himself *glare at L*

So As Quiet As A Mouse

Burned him down to the ground

"They do say friends can have very bad influence on each other." L muttered

When no one was around

So I started planning my revenge on L

I Deserve To Be Quickly Put Down

Rotting Six-Feet Underground

When I Was Ten

I Refused to read shounen

I loved Akazukin chacha instead

Boys proceeded to laugh in my Face

Such A Disgrace Oh yes I made them pay! I knocked out one for a whole day

I Deserve To Have My Brains Displaced

All Over The Fireplace

Until This Life Has Been Erased

I Am Not A Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

*Not Quite What He Seems*

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

It's Exactly What It Seems

When I Was Twelve

I Used To Delve

Into Evil Schemes

Just To Elicit Screams

Carved 13 13 on the arm of L Then took the chocolate and

The games, from little Matt and Mel (I sold them for hair gel, to spike my hair more like L's)

I Deserve To Roast Deep Down In Hell

Where No One Can Hear Me Yell

When I Was Fourteen

Nothing Much Happened

Well

There Was That One Time

*wink at L*

"NO OH GOD B DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT THAT!" shrieked an alarmed panda guy.

"Don't worry it's our little secret..." B stared off into space grinning for 20 seconds and then gave a little perverted chuckle.

Heh-heh-heh...ahhhh

I Am Not A Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

Not Quite What He Seems

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

It's Exactly What It Seems

When I Was Sixteen

Life Was Frightening

My Brother angered me

So I went on a killing spree

Murdered those already fated to die, and then burned myself alive and barely survived.

I Deserve To Be Battered and Fried

In An Electric Chair That's Set On High

Now That I'm eighteen

I Still Hate Things

From This Padded Cell I call my home, No jam, alone, with no life to call my own

Here I Will Lie

Until The Very Day I Die

Until My Blood Begins To Dry

And I Return To the Darkness from Whence I Came

So

I Am Not a Bad Man

Even Though I Do Bad Things

Very Bad Things

Such Horrible Things

But It's Not Quite What It Seems

Not Quite What I Seem

Ah, Hell

I'm Exactly What I Seem

*creepy grin*

L: 0.O

Light: .*

BB: %-D

"You became a murder when you were 16?" Light asked. (He doesn't have his memory of being a seventeen year old murderer)

"Yup. I know I'm the little brother but I was always seme! *rape face*

L blushed and stammered "I-uh...w-we have to go now...

"Come again soon!" B smiled his creepy grin.


End file.
